Thoughts on the times…

It is difficult to post an entry on something that is so personal without placing myself in a vulnerable place with those who read.  But I trust that those who read are interested in our family from a healthy place and a place of concern, care and love.  With that, here goes…

It seems that one of the goals of parenting is to not only raise children in a manner of honesty and life-education, but ironically, we are to protect them from things that they can’t control or things that don’t matter at this point in their lives.  An example of this is a hardship that a family might be going through financially.  I mean, in the context of our lives together (Phil and I) over the past 15 years, it is a hardship.  However, I do acknowledge that “hardship” is a matter of perspective and that there are definitely people in this world who have life MUCH harder than our “hardship”.  But for the sake of record for our children, in the coming years when they might look back through these books about their early years, I wanted to record where our family is right now in hopes that they can reflect with respect upon the decisions that Phil and I have made, and will continue to make.

We, as a family, have come upon a tough time.  We are behind on our mortgage, lost our cable, internet and phone service this week, are planning to sell our family car, and are hip deep in utility bills and obligations A great portion of it due to the economy and the lack of work that was coming in a year ago.  We got behind, and have been unable to make enough to recover AND stay current.    The other part of it comes in lack of preparation and inability to make wise choices in the past.  In the time since last fall, we have drained savings, and lived “minimally”.  Of course, in retrospect, I can see how we could have lived even MORE minimally over the past year.  It is difficult to stop doing daily things or even regular things that have been a part of life for so long.  We have let go of some, but not all.  And now we are to the point of having no choice.

I think the most difficult part of this season is holding back on spending for the kids.  And I don’t mean day to day “treats” and toys.  I mean things that they truly enjoy…dance, gymnastics, dinner out as a family, a movie, and the impending holidays.  But I suppose this is a good opportunity to teach them otherwise.  I get that, mentally,  But in my actions on a daily level, it is difficult.  It is SO hard for this mommy to not covet the lifestyle of others – be it purchases, trips and just overall financial stability.  It is sinful, and something I am constantly aware of.  I am working on it…letting go of things that weren’t mine to begin with.

I can only hope that the kids don’t have a negative understanding of this.  I can only hope that they can focus and learn from the humbleness that this creates in their parents, and I can only hope that they can learn from our mistakes and make better financial choices themselves.

Our God is truly good.  He is faithful to provide us with things we absolutely need.  It is tough to let go of the luxuries, but were they ever really ours to begin with?  Maybe it was just being in the right place at the right time – being lucky enough to share in such fun things that were never ours to claim in the first place…   If nothing else, this time is a reminder of what we DO have – beautiful, healthy children, a shelter in what is currently a BITTER cold time, and family on both sides that love us.  I will happily and gratefully acknowledge them and say “thank you”.